Olivia is one.

February, 2008.

The month you were born. I will never forget it. It was sunny, extremely cold and the city was frozen and snow-bound. But while everything around us slept, you were waking up and getting ready to meet the world. I have a vision of you that I will always carry with me; on the day you came home. Your features were porcelain-like. You looked like a little doll. You lay perfectly still swaddled up tightly in your bassinet, and you slept. Perfect bow-lips, plump little cheeks, and the tiniest, daintiest fingers I have ever seen. You slept.

Spring.

Poetically, with the change in seasons you began to wake up. You found your smile, you started to open and discover your hands, and you continued to kick those little legs. At 11 weeks you rolled over for the very first time. Our days were spent feeding and sleeping and I watched your every move to see what you'd discover next. You got pretty good at batting your toys on your bouncy chair, and you started to roll over. When we weren't eating and sleeping we would plan an outing. Usually, this would be one of three places: Loblaws, Shoppers, or Auntie Mia's. These days were hectically quiet, you grew as I healed, and together we started to really get to know each other. That spring, your Daddy worked very hard on finishing the basement so that we would have a place to set up your play zone, which all too soon would become quite handy.

Summer.

The lazy days of summer encapsulated us in a way that is virtually indescribable looking back. You continued to grow and change by the minute. Your swimming pool eyes were here to stay as you watched and bloomed with the world around you. You were doing very well holding your head up and making slow and brief attempts at crawling. You cut your first tooth at 5 months! The first in so many milestones to come, and little did we know, one that would be a very prominent fixture until all of them were in! You had all the textbook signs and symptoms, the drool cough to boot, but you hung in and we made it through. Now? A smile full of beautiful pearly whites. You also started eating real food. I can still smell the peaches boiling in our little kitchen, while you smiled wide-eyed in your high chair as you watched me make your food. You were very excited to try new foods and especially loved bananas, peaches and pears. Visits with Dax and Bella, my virtual second daughter were regular and we had no idea, or maybe we did, how lucky we were to be experiencing this first year in tandem. Together, going through each and every mini-milestone. We shared our every thought, fear and experience - one that I will never forget. A bond of friendship that was sealed years before grew deeper this year because of you and Anabella, and for that I know we are both left without words and with swelling hearts. Strollerfit and Starbucks became a part of our weekly regime, along with neighbourhood walks and shopping trips. Bliss.

This summer, your Daddy worked so hard, almost too hard on our house. He built our back deck, he finished our basement, he worked long days and nights to make this place a comfy and happy home. We managed to get away on our first family trip to a cottage. It was hectic and exhausting but so fun to take you to a new surrounding. You took your first dip in a lake, you watched the birds and you continued to smile those ear to ear smiles. You are such a happy little bean. We have such a happy little family and because of you, our bond is deeper and greater then ever before.

Fall.
The heat of the summer carried on into fall and we got to experience one of the most warmest and beautiful Indian summers on record. Almost over night, you had turned into a little human, sitting up, babbling and chatting away and holding your own bottle. You seemed to be quick at developing and very keen and eager to progress. You are not one to sit back and observe-- Not surprising looking at who made you, but so amazingly fascinating to watch you think and process and develop your thoughts into actions. You made many sounds and spoke your own little language, but by far the most common, and humorous was the Livvie growl. Perhaps it was the vibration feeling it made in the back of your throat, or simply the response you got from us. Regardless, it was hilarious and a staple in your daily repertoire. Otis continued to walk gingerly around you, still sensing that you were still delicate and little. Although some of his old character started to return and his sly, stealthy ways of stealing your stuffed animals commenced. He simply couldn't control his urge to taste a plush stuffed toy. Something we'll likely fight him on for years to come. On the flip side, look what he allowed you to get away with. Before the weather turned cold we managed to get in our long discussed girlsweek up at Daxi's cottage. It took hours of planning but well worth the relaxation that was to come. Okay, who's kidding who here? It was not relaxing at all! It was work. But it was good to be 'working' in another place. We walked the beach, drank wine and watched you girls as we always do, take in your surroundings. You never stopped moving, ever, and your new trick that week was rolling. You rolled all over that cottage floor -- under the table, around your bouncy chair, pretty much out the door! Nanners says you're going to be trouble one day. HA! Ain't that the truth. And just like that, as the fall came to an end, and the crisp air overruled the heat of the sun, you changed once again.

Winter.

In my mind, winter was a mix of many emotions. Something about this time of year always makes me pensive. I suppose it's a combination of many things, but in particular, this year caused me to be even more reflective as we were in the final days of my mat leave, of our year together. Made doubly reflective by the fact that I wasn't just wrapping up my first year with you, and with us as our new family, and all the other adjusting and readjusting that came along with it...but also an end to a year that I knew, I know, will never be repeated. Like anything, all great things come to an end, so as the year came to a close, I watched with even more eagerness, even more adoring eyes, every move, sound, and discovery you made. At Christmas time you learned to crawl. It made life all that more interesting, and kept me running, but it was also so terrific to watch you in action. You are such an adventure baby and you were beside yourself with joy when you actually figured out that you could MOVE! "Livvie on the Move" is what we said mostly in the month of December. Your world had changed forever, and off you went! Crawling and motoring across the carpet with determination and purpose. That's my Loulou. You always have a plan. The holiday season overall was wonderful. The three of us and Otis snuggled in our basement with a blazing fire...dinners and drinks with friends and families. Enough feasts to last us through to spring.

Today.

And here we are...it is your first birthday. You are one today. ONE. Never in my wildest dreams could I have guessed how much 12 months could change my life. Never in my deepest thoughts could I have imagined how much joy you could bring me. And now, just like that, life is about to change again. I swear I was pregnant with you yesterday. I swear I was just looking at you on that sonogram. I swear I was just changing your diaper for the first time. And yet, now, you are going to daycare. I am going back to work. And I have no idea what is around that corner. I am scared, I am sad, I am happy, I am relieved...but most of all I am proud. Proud to have survived year one with you. Proud of all of your mini-milestones. Proud that you have been able to start out life on the right foot. Proud that you are mine. Happy First Birthday my Loulou. I love you more than you know. I am always right here. We are always right here.

I love you, Mommy.