The Perfect Day of Gifts

First, we thought about you. How you would look, how you would sound, what your name would be. Then, you were born and we couldn't imagine ever wondering these things. Your eyes are magnetic, your voice brings smiles from miles away, your name, while you are only just over a year old, suits you perfectly: Beautiful, strong and with many colours and variations. Olivia - what we didn't know, and what we have found out a little more every day since the days before you were born, is how much joy and harmony and love you bring into our lives. I could sit here all day for ever more describing these instances and moments and still not have enough stories and words to fill my pages. So for today, I will tell but one.

Today is Sunday May 10, 2009. Today, is Mother's Day. Today, you took your first steps. This morning I woke up to the sounds of you babbling and chatting softly to yourself in your bedroom. Otis came bounding up the stairs and jumped up on our bed while Daddy crept into your room to turn on your musicbox. This generally keeps you happy until one of us returns with your morning bottle...a routine that has started since I've gone back to work and our mornings have sped up way more then even I like. We'll be working on breaking this habit soon. Daddy brought you into our room and together you handed me a card. It was so sweet, written with kind words and included a note that told me Daddy and I are going away on a special weekend getaway and spa soon! Oh how we need this! We all got dressed and hopped in the car to head out to our favourite breakfast spot. After a few false starts we finally made it and had a great time stuffing our faces with pancakes, waffles, sausages and bacon. Daddy and I drank way too much coffee and you had way too many pancakes but we had such a great time. After a quick trip to Home Depot for some potted plants we were home in time for a late morning nap.

The rest of our day was more of the same. Family time, napping, gardening and laughs. For the first time in a long time, Daddy and I were able to just sit and enjoy the company of our family. I think you caught on, I really do because it was at that very moment, when you decided to get up and walk. I had set up a blanket on the front lawn so that we could watch Daddy do a few things in the front yard. You and I were sitting and playing with some toys I had brough outside, but you really were much more interested in waving at everyone who walked by the house. So I started tickling you and making you giggle. We were playing this game where you would stand in front of me and hang your head backwards to look upside down. It's one of your favourite games right now - you laugh so hard I think you're peeing your pants for sure! Then you looked at me and I knew. I stood you up and I don't know why, but I said to Daddy, watch this, Livvie is going to walk.

AND YOU DID! You stood in front of me and took two steps towards me. Then you plunked down to your knees and let out the biggest giggle. Smiling from ear to ear you looked at me. I stood you up again. This time, you stood there, holding your arms out in the air for balance. And laughed. You looked at me, you looked at Daddy, and then you walked again. One, Two, Plunk! Down on your knees. And the giggles continued. You made it to three steps before you decided that was it and fell into my arms for a hug. Together we laughed and as tears streamed down my face I thought to myself: Words can not describe this. The joy that filled that moment was indescbribable to anyone other then us. And that is what makes us a family. That is what makes me the luckiest Mother in the world. That, my sweet Loulou, is the perfect gift.

Happy Birthday Anabella!

My Dear Sweet Bella Bells,

It's you BIRTHDAY!
How is it possible that today, you are ONE!?

The first time I saw you, you looked like this:

I remember coming to meet you in the hospital and holding you for the first time. I was so overwhelmed with joy I had tears streaming down my face. You are so beautiful Bella and I want you to know how much happiness you have brought into my life.

You see, you don't really know this yet, but over this past year your Mommy and I have spent quite a few days together. Oh, and nights too, if you count frantic text messaging! And so I've really gotten to know you. I'm so lucky. You are a smart, beautiful, strong, happy and cautious little one. You like to take it all in, assess the situation, then make your move. You are just like your Mommy in so many ways. At first you weren't too sure about me. You used to look me straight in the eye and glare at me. Heh. But I didn't take it personally. I knew I'd win you over! I want you to know that you are like a second daughter to me, I love you like my own little Livvie and I will always be here if you need me ok?

Well Happy Birthday my little Bells!
We love you!

xo
Auntie Em.

Double Digits.

Hi Loulou!

Today is January 13, 2009. You are 10 and a half months old! Let's take a few minutes to see where things are at here. You are sleeping - the house is quiet. Daddy is watching the news and Otis is sleeping at the foot of our bed.

Sleeping. Yes. The question every parent loves to ask. You are still a wonderful sleeper. You go down like clockwork every night at 6:45 and wake up just before 7am. You chat and squeal happily in your crib until 7:15ish when Daddy heads off to work and we start our day. You have, however, become somewhat of a light sleeper. I'm really hoping this is a phase. Right now, every little creek in the house wakes you up, of course the hard wood floors don't help. You had a few unsettling teething weeks recently so I think that's the reason. Apart from that you're still on two solid naps a day and happy as can be! You have decided (like your Mommy) that sleeping on your belly is best and for a while we called you the wind-up doll because you'd fall asleep sitting up then hunch over like in the picture here. Your legs are right under your blanky just under your chin.

Teething. Livvie, you have 8 teeth! You are a teething machine and you are being so brave and tough about it. Your drooling has stopped temporarily, but you love to suck on your fingers and frozen wash clothes and well, despite my wishes you are still chewing on that crib rail. Please stop. Auntie Daxi says I should pick up a crib rail guard from Canadian Tire. Do I have to kid? Huh? Do I?

You are on the move!! I can't say that I was prepared for this. At. All. Not only are you crawling, but you have speeds! You have the Window Shopping Crawl. This is your casual saunter crawl where you take a few strides then plop back on your bum to check something out before moving on. Then there's the One Foot Crawl. This is your attempt at walking I think. It's one of your latest moves and it's hilarious to watch. You crawl forward then prop your right foot up on the floor and try to push upwards. You're not quite strong enough yet so you sit and bounce for a bit before pushing off to crawling again. You think it's funny too. And finally, the Turbo Crawl. This is the one I wasn't ready for. This is your way of getting the heck outta town quick! I can tell you this little one, you are coordinated! Those arms and legs are moving in syncopated rhythm faster then 5/4 time and you are outta there! You usually use this manoeuvre when you're getting ready to wind down for nap and/or bed time. It's your final burst of energy and shortly after this you usually lie flat out on the floor with your head into the carpet, letting out a few breaths of relief. No, I'm not kidding, you really do this! You're a little bit of an actress. I'll try to get this on film for your files ;).

While I wasn't ready for the Turbo Crawl, I can admit that I was also not prepared for your need and constant, that's right C-O-N-S-T-A-N -T desire to climb. All you want to do is climb. Anything. Stairs, filing cabinets, dresser drawers, walls. You're not Spider Woman hun, promise you're not and if you try to shimmy up the wall you will fall. You are so much like your Daddy it's amazing. I just love watching you explore. As soon as you're standing your eyes light up and you get the sly little grin on your face. I can only imagine what you're thinking. And for this reason, we have installed baby gates, light socket protectors, drawer stoppers, table corner pads and rubber bath mats. You Are ACTIVE. Enough said.

Words and Noises. When I ask you "What does a Doggy say?", you reply: "Rarararara". When I ask you "What does a cow say?", you reply: "oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh". And when I ask: "What does a Duck say?" you reply with a very high pitched: "duhduhduhduh". Needless to say you are very vocal. You have just started copying me. If I whistle, you respond with a high pitched "ah". If I whisper, you lean your head very close into me and smile. And when I make funny faces you laugh and make a kissing/popping sound with your mouth. I can see you trying to make sense of it all and it is truly amazing. You are so interested in the world around you and I'm so glad that you see the world with humour and smiles. You have a happy-go-lucky attitude and embrace the world with open arms. You are like me in this regard. Lastly, and everyone is pleased about this one, you still have your signature "Growl" that you like to incorporate into your daily babble as much as possible. You growl all the time kid and it's too funny!

We made it through our first cold together over Christmas. You had a few days of runny nose, watery eyes, sad nights and dry cough. You also had a mystery rash while up at Grampa's in Collingwood that appeared on your back, bum and thighs one morning. I was ready to rush you to emerge but within the hour after waking it was gone. We figure you had a little heat rash.

Celebrating your first Christmas was such a gift in itself. You have so many people that love you Olivia, you are so lucky. We spent time with all of your Grandparents, Aunties, Uncles and close friends. You had not one but 2 visits with Santa, both on the same day sorry about that, a little overwhelming but you hung in there! And by the end of the holidays, before you starting yelling at me (literally you were yelling at me, like this: Ahhhhhhhhh Mom, enough! Get these people out of my face and put me to bed!), you mastered the art of opening and ripping apart presents. The best fun in the world isn't it? I think Christmas morning this year was the best Christmas ever. It was spent, just the three of us and Otis, in the living room of our first house. So many firsts this past year my little Liv. Daddy and I sipped on Veuve and OJ while you played in the mess of crinkly wrapping papers and ribbons with Otis. It was magic.

There is so much more that you are doing on a daily basis and there truly isn't enough words in the world to tell you how much joy you bring to me and to your Daddy. We watch you every day and our hearts explode with happiness, pride and adoration for you. It breaks my heart to think that in a few short weeks things are going to change around here. Soon, I have to go back to work which means we won't be spending as much time together. I can only hope that I have given you a good start by being right beside you and that moving forward you know that I am always here for you. I am always right beside you Olivia Jane.

I love you,
Mommy.

9 months.

Olivia Jane,

Today, you are nine months old.















For some reason, this is a big one for me. I don't know if it's because the number 9 is a bit symbolic? You were inside of me for 9 months and now you have been outside of me for the same amount of time. Maybe it's because you are 3/4 of a year old, and our time together just the two of us, before the world gets crazy again, is coming to an end. I don't even know where to start with your growth and development progression. You are doing so much all of a sudden it's already getting hard to write it all down!

You absolutely have a sense of humour. You can stop traffic with your smile and you have a laugh that is the most contagious I have ever heard. You love, love, LOVE to play peek-a-boo. I love to play it with you and so does your Daddy. It makes our day. You love it when you are sitting in your high chair and I leave the room and poke my head into the door way so you can see me. Then I run around to the dinning room door way and every time, you figure it out and laugh and squeal with delight! You laugh so hard and you throw your head back and close your eyes. You crack me up kid and usually I end up in tears because how of touching and innocent these games we all play together are.















Your Daddy, while we're on the topic, is truly the highlight of your day. (As you are to his). He is the first person you see every day. He goes into your bedroom the minute he wakes up to say good morning. And every morning, I listen to the two of you chatter away before he leaves for work; and I smile. I love listening to the two of you together. The second he walks in that front door your eyes look to him and you smile as wide as you can. Then you squeal with delight again and say DADA! Yes, you have been saying Dada for a long time now, but really and truly now understand that to you, that is his name. Daddy also likes to put you on his shoulders and spin you around while you grab onto the top of his head for dear life. This is usually when I leave the room and pray you don't go flying off his back. But you won't. He would never let that happen.

You are moving kid. You are so close, SO CLOSE to crawling! You are sitting up really well now, and although I still put pillows around you just in case, you aren't toppling over any more. The other day you pulled yourself up to sitting from lying flat on your back. I think you might have inherited your Auntie Aimee's abs cause that was pure acrobats girl! You were pretty surprised yourself, so I lay you back down on your back and sure enough, you did it again! This weekend I have asked your Daddy to lower your crib.

That same day you also said Mama. You have said it before, but this time you really meant it. You looked at me straight in the eyes and said: MAMA, and then shot me that killer side grin you have that you save for special moments. I call it the sly Livvie grin. You look at me out of the corner of your eyes, tuck in your bottom lip a little and smile. Then you said MAMA MAMA MAMA and started giggling. You little rascal!!


Things you know when I point to them are: Toes, Knees, Nose and Otis, of course. Mark my words, OTIS is going to be your first real word. You are starting to make the "OH" sound and although you haven't figured out how to point yet, your eyes dart to him whenever I say his name. You love music and you love it when I sing to you. You love "Head and Shoulders" and "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and "Skimadarinky-dinky-dink" and your very favourite, "Baah Baah Black Sheep". You sing along and clap your hands. You also love the piano. I try to play for you a little every day. I gather a few toys and plop you down on the rug while Otis lazes on the couch and I play. Usually I only get through a few pieces before you get bored, but the moment my fingers hit the keys you look up and smile and hum a little. Music is in you, my sweet.

Hand clapping. This is probably your trademark move for this month. You have dropped the scary monster "AHHHHHHHHHHHHH" sound which I'm kind of sad about because it was absolutely hysterical, and replaced it with clapping. EVERYTHING is clapping worthy and as you clap you make a YAY sound. I feed you bananas, you clap. Otis walks into the room, you clap, I say BATH TIME! you clap.















Otis is your best friend by the way. He licks your face every time he sees you and just today, while you were practising your crawling moves you reached for his paws and giggled. You also like to pull his tail and hang onto his ears, and he is so very patient with you. He just stands there until you let go. Oh Otis.

I could go on for days my love, because every day is filled with so much fun. You bring so much joy to me and to your Daddy and our entire family. We are absolutely loving watching you grow.















Now. I do have one little request. I know you are teething, and your gums are really bothering you. But do you think you could not chew on your crib rails? It's not good for you, I am worried you'll get splinters, or worse, and Otis doesn't need to be encouraged anymore then he already is! Thanks.

I love you so very much,
Mommy.

Refelction

Livvie, right in front of my eyes you have gone from this:





to this:





It's hard to believe that you are 8 months old.
You are beautiful and you are happy. I can't believe how much you have grown and changed already. Don't ever forget that you are an incredible gift to us. Don't ever forget how important you are to us. Don't ever forget how happy you make us. And don't ever forget to be yourself, always.

love, Mommy.

True Blue

I was in grade 6. Mrs. Ramsay's class. It was a french immersion split and she taught the English, History, Geography and Arts portion. We focused on Arts about 90% of the time. She was a terrific teacher and she had somehow managed to talk the Principal into letting her purchase a singing machine. It was on that very singing machine that I recorded myself singing for the first time. And that first song was TRUE BLUE by Madonna. I can still hear my little voice (I recorded it onto a tape and would listen to it in my room along with Barbara Streisand's Memories which I also recorded. Terrible by the way. So terrible) singing over hers:


"I've heard all the lines,
I've cried oh so many times,
Those tear drops they won't fall again,
I'm so excited cause you're my best friend!"


I wore blue eyeliner, I tried ever so hard to tease my dead straight baby fine hair, I traded jelly shoes with my girlfriend, I owned a beige vest that I wore over my white t-shirt and I had (extremely) untamed eyebrows. I was 10 gimme a break!

As she progressed and grew, so did I. Her lyrics echoing her fashion in a statement of their own. Sex, Freedom, the guts to give her opinion and stand behind it without shame, the courage to say FUCK YOU and live through the consequences, the gift to keep us talking and listening for almost 3 decades. The break ups, the mishaps, the rumours, the pregnancies, the newest Hit single hitting the charts, the dance moves, the attitude. I used to dream I was her up on stage. I used to dream about singing into bright lights with crowds screaming for more more more!

Last Sunday I saw her in concert for the third time with my bff Dax. Over drinks before the show we realized that this was the first time we were out together since pre baby, sans baby. Holy Shit are you kidding me? 2 years since we cut some rug and let loose? So that is exactly what we did. Now, more then ever before in my life I have learned to cherish things. Moments. Minutes. It has never been more clear to me the value of time. Needless to say we were two of the most rambunctious, loudest, happiest and "in the moment" women at the concert. We danced, we sang, we screamed, we cheered, we held hands like little girls and jumped up and down, we celebrated.

Sometimes life can wrap you up so tight you don't even realize you need to shake loose. Sometimes it takes something out of the ordinary to make you stop and listen. Thank you Mrs. Ramsay for teaching me to open up and sing; thank you Madonna for your inspiration; thank you Dax for being right beside me.

Bad Bad Mommy, cont'd...

Back. Where was I? Right...nap times.

You're kinda slowing down on the napping kid and I'm here to tell you I'm not all that pleased. You still have a good snooze in the pm, but your morning naps are becoming a thing of the past. 30 minutes doesn't really cut it.

Hungies!
You are an eating machine and you already have strong opinions on your likes and dislikes. You absolutely hate hate hate broccoli. I have tried a few times to give it to you and you just plain hate it. You scrunch your face and shake your head and spit it out at me. Wondering if you're trying to tell me something? Speaking of spitting, this is another thing you are doing lately, for the attention I might add. You like to spit! You make zerbert sounds and you spit. And your favourite time to do this is when you're eating! Ask your Auntie Daxi one day and she'll tell you about the time you sprayed food all over her kitchen table. Not a good way to win points with Auntie Daxi kid. Trust....

Apart from broccoli, you really are not that picky...yet. You love cheese, just tried a tomato and basil with cheese puree and you loved it. You also like yogurt. And so far? No crazy food reactions. Phewf!!

Olivia you are an absolute joy my love. I am cherishing every moment we spend together. You are bright and beautiful and Daddy and I love you so so so much.

I'll be back soon to write more about your growth story. For now, just try to cool your jets a bit - we have a little more renovating to do before you start crawling.

I love you,
Mommy.