A Life Lesson

I was pretty sure that Otis would adjust quickly to our newest addition to the family. For all of his crazy lab-like characteristics - the couch eating, the digging, the stealing of all undergarments owned by me. He also has a very kind temperament, is gentle (ok, unless you are a stuffed animal) and has only ever barked once. And that was at the vacuum cleaner.


Upon Lady O's arrival home Otis awaited us with great poise, as if he already knew his role in our pack had changed:





We quickly introduced him to Olivia, and as expected, he greeted her with curious looks and gentle kisses.



He immediately took to the babe and assumed the position of guard dog. Not leaving her sight; running to her when she made a sqweak, gurgle or cry; walking gingerly around her, abandoning his usual bull-in-a-china-shop type demeanour.



Huzb and I, completely taken by Otis' new attitude, teared and welled up at each of these actions. Wasn't it amazing, we mused, at how much an animal can change once the dynamics of his surroundings are altered. What happened to our curious lab who was always getting into trouble? Where is the Otis who steals Mommy's boots every day at the same time, who jumps up on counters to lick butter and snag an oven mitt, who can sniff a dirty sock, or worse, out of a laundry hamper at the bat of an eye, who can tear apart the arm of a couch faster then you can spell UPHOLSTERY? Otis had changed. We briefly mourned and then rejoiced!



And then...it was Tuesday.



Tuesday was Day 7 of us being at home with the Livster, and Day 2 of Huzb being back to work. Things were going pretty smoothly all things considered. It was around 9am and time to get up from our 6am feed and do it all over again. Diaper change. Check. Sleeper dry? Check. Receiving blanket and spit up cloth. Check, Check. I let Otis out on the way to the couch and decided to grab a glass of water before getting started. For some reason, I glimpsed out the kitchen window which looks out into our backyard. That's funny, I thought. Otis isn't in sight. Sometimes Otis likes to hide behind the garage and eat stuff, so I figured this was it. I turned to go to the living room. Must feed baby. But something was bugging me. Something wasn't right. I put my water down, and Olivia down in her bassinet and opened the sliding glass door in the office which also looks out into our backyard. OOOOTTTTIIISSSSS! Let's go in the house! Nothing. He wasn't coming. Stubborn little bastard I think to myself. He's totally chewing a log behind the garage. But that sinking feeling in my gut was slowly growing. I ran and grabbed some kibble in a bowl and started shaking it at the door. OTIS! LET'S GO! IN THE HOUSE! COOKIE? YOU WANT A COOKIE?? This'll get him in. Silence. Nothing. Terror started to hit me as I quickly ran to check on Liv, she was sleeping in her bassinet, temporarily forgetting it's time to eat. There's no fucking way I think, I panic and run to the back door and throw on my boots. I fly out the door and swing open the gate to the yard. Otis! I cry...OTIS where are you????

He was gone. I circled the entire yard, back and forth, zigzagging across the lot, and no Otis in sight. OTISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I screamed! Shit! Olivia, I can't leave her alone in the house! I run inside and pick her up as she is now starting to stir. 'Feed me' she gurgles. I call the Huzb: "Huzb, Otis ran away!" I am hysterical. Sobbing on the phone I manage to get it across to the Huzb that I think he's gotten out behind the garage where there is a build up of snow. I see tracks. I am sure he's gone. No he is 100% gone. My Dog Is Gone!!!!!!!!! Huzby tells me he is on his way home and to call the neighbour and get her to go check the nearby hydro cut. This is where we always walk Otis. It is a large green-space in the city. It is ideal for dogs but it is not fenced in. It is also close to a very very busy street. I am sure that my dog has been hit by a car and killed.

I call the neighbour in tears. She goes to the hydro cut. Huzb calls me back to tell me he is in a cab and that sis-in-law and dad-in-law are on their way over to help search. Olivia is crying and hungry. I can't control my emotions. I call Dax in mad hysteria. She does a really good job of calming me down. She starts by telling me to put the baby down. This, in hindsight, is a very good call. Put down baby when in panic. Muscles might give in and drop baby. Need to calm down. Dax offered to come over. I said hold on that. Let's wait and see what happens.

There really is no way to prepare for any type of loss. Your mind really doesn't know how to process the information so instead it goes from uncontrollable crying and sobbing to numbness. My thought process from the time I realized Otis had taken off to this point went like this. Oh my god Otis is not in the yard. Otis ran away. Otis is dead. It is all my fault. I killed my dog. I miss him so much. Why did I let him out to pee? Oh Otis I miss every single stupid thing you do. What I wouldn't give to have you here right now, I would let you eat every sock, oven mitt and couch in the house. Please come home Otis! I pace. I wait.


My neighbour comes back. Nothing. She didn't see him. She leaves again, this time driving the other way. I pace some more. This is a living nightmare I think to myself. I look out the door to the empty yard and think, we bought this house with this yard for you Odie. Then I think, I am never getting another dog again in my entire whole life. Never. Ever.

The front door opens and there is a pause. Then the ever so familiar sound of paws bounding in and onto hardwood floor. I hears claws scraping on wood. I turn and there he is! Otis is home. Huzby is behind him and the in-laws are in the driveway. Otis runs up to me and starts circling me and Olivia who is in my arms. 'Hi Mom! Did you miss me?" he's saying to me with his tail wagging and tongue flying.

Where was he? I sighed and stuttered in great relief to the Huzb. The hydro-cut. He thought he'd take himself for a walk I guess. I leaned over and let him drench me in wet sloppy kisses. My Otis is home. My family is the most precious thing to me. My new daughter is in my arms, my husband who I love more then anything is beside me, and my favourite furry friend is safe and sound. I am suddenly overwhelmed by what the true meaning of life is and how quickly something can make it all change. I am stunned by how precious every moment is and how much impact a four-legged beast can have on our lives. For a moment, I take it all in.

Otis, in retrospect, really hadn't changed all that much upon the arrival of Olivia. We're pretty sure he was just temporarily in shock, like us, about the new tenant that was now sharing space with the rest of us. Sure, he'll watch out for her and guard her against all things evil - if by evil you are referring to dust mites and vacuum cleaners. Other then that, our Otis is pretty much same old, same old. But isn't that what life is all about?