Tomorrow...

Tomorrow I will go into work and finish packing up my desk. I will make sure my inbox is clear, my internet history is erased, my documents are in order and my files are passed off. I will shake hands cordially with peers, hug some and wince at others. I will set my out-of-office reply, forward my phone and notify HR with one final last email. I will make a few final calls to tie up loose ends, I will thank my boss for hiring me. Tomorrow, at 5pm or so, I will officially be on my first ever maternity leave. This is virtually impossible to wrap my head around. I have left jobs before but this is nothing like that. This is like packing up the cottage for the winter, like folding those last few summer dresses to be stored away for next summer, like packing up the Christmas decorations while thinking "what will life be like when I next unwrap you?". This time, I have no idea. I can try to imagine what life will be like, but I stop short everytime I try to complete the thought. Maybe it's because I don't know who you are yet little Bean. Or, maybe I'm scared a little. The thought of being back at work, in this place where I pour all my energy into action every day, is like a distant thought already. Because although I am a corporate girl, I can't imagine sitting at a desk all day juggling the corporate life with the home life. Tomorrow marks the start of new beginnings, new schedules, new responsibilities. Tomorrow, I think, is a very big day.